Modesty vs. Immodesty...Who's coming home to meet the parents?

Let's be realistic, who would a man prefer to introduce to his mother? Would it be a respectable, chaste, and virtuous woman like Phylicia Rashad? Would it be someone like Rihanna who is rambunctious, indecent, and risqué? Who???
 
Quoting Bro. Jerard X, "only an immodest woman likes an immodest man and vice versa." A real man wants a woman he can be proud to take home to meet his mother. We, as women know this as well. When you go to meet your man's parents you put on your best outfit, you don't go looking for a crop top and a mini skirt. A real man wants a real woman.

Nowadays the word woman is used too loosely. Being a woman is so much more than just being gender specific. To be a woman means that you're striving to uphold your womanly duties. But what are these duties? A woman strives to be understanding, loving, patient, serene, appreciative, humble, spiritual, etc. not just in a relationship with her man but in all other relationships (friends and family). We must learn how to act like Queens. There's a difference between being loud and boisterous and being heard. There's a difference between being rude and being assertive. There's a difference between being weak and knowing when to speak. Phylicia Rashad, who is known as Claire Huxtable on the Cosby Show, was a good example of a modest woman. She held herself in high regards which made everyone else do the same. She didn't have to overcompensate by being obnoxious she demanded respect by respecting herself and it showed. On the other hand, Rihanna has no respect for herself. When women strip themselves of their clothes, the proper respect and love, not just from other people but for themselves goes out of the window. There's a saying that is being used a lot in the fashion and beauty industries, "love the skin you're in." To love the skin you're in does not mean the whole world has to see it. The size of your breasts, butt, hips, etc. is not the true standard of beauty. How beautiful are you when all of that is covered? And that, is the real definition of beauty.

A man wants a woman that treats herself like the Queen she is and when she does it will automatically make him want to do the same.

I encourage everyone both men and women to give their opinion on this topic and the previous topics. Please keep your comments respectable and refrain from using any profanity. Thank you!

Akilah Nehanda speaks on why men should be modest too...

Akilah Nehanda, 22

 



As a singer, songwriter, fashionista, and dedicated member of A Brighter Day music group, Nehanda is on the rise like never before. Her style is captivating and refreshing. Her confidence and personality spills into her music with every passionate word and note. Most importantly, Nehanda is not afraid to speak on real life issues while making you dance at the same time. Born and raised in Houston, Texas, and a graduate from Howard University in Washington, DC, Nehanda is on the move and is taking the music world by storm! A firm believer in the saying "A nation can rise no higher than it's woman", she has chosen to use her R&B/Hip hop vocals as a way to connect with and represent the fabulousness of women and girls around the world.

 

During the interview Sis. Akilah was asked to speak on the topic of why it's  just as important for men to be modest...

 

"When most people think of the word modesty, the first image that usually comes to mind is a picture of an ethereal, virtuous woman covered from head to toe in formal garb. It's interesting that this is the stereotype when the word "modest" simply means decorous and decent. It also means meek, not arrogant, free from showiness or ostentation; unpretentious. In other words you can be fine as wine but modesty is when you're confident enough in yourself to not have to show the entire world your goods. When it comes to dress, modesty means "not offensive to sexual mores in conduct or appearance." I hope people know that yes, women are attracted to men (smile). We love their voices, we marvel over their physique, their faces, hair, and we pay attention to their attire and how they wear it.

So, in a society that promotes being "ratchet" 24/7, I must say that it's just as important and refreshing in 2013 to see a modestly dressed man as it is to see a modest woman. We love to talk about the responsibility women have to be classy, well mannered and moderate to keep society high and moral, but what about men? The responsibility of being and looking decent is not one sided. It takes two. Women have urges too, so when men flaunt their bodies by wearing tight shirts, no shirts, muscle shirts, shorts, huge chains etc. in public it can be just as indecent and unrefined. We all have to be more aware of how our demeanor, our fashion can either uplift or lower our standards. This is probably why the three major religions; Christianity, Islam, and Judaism teach that men and women should both be modest. We should strive to not only be clothed in the spirit but we must also clothe the flesh. Our attire should reflect our civilized mentality. I personally think a man looks great with loose (but not too loose) fitting attire. It is attractive that he appreciates letting his skin breath (smile). It's also attractive when he isn't weighed down by lots of jewelry or flashy things but chooses simple accent pieces that make him look refined. And just like a man wouldn't usually bring a woman home to meet momma wearing a mini skirt and a tube top, no woman wants to bring her man to meet her father and mother wearing a "nice" muscle shirt and shorts. Even in the gym, I believe men should still be modest. We all know muscles are forming and bulging and this can be a distraction to Kim on the treadmill peaking out of the corner of her eye. Kim deserves a full out workout with little distractions right? (Smile) The bottom line is, we must not put all of the burden of being modest on women. Yes, a woman has more adornments on her body to cover, but men also have a role to play and we must encourage men to always be aware and in full control of their attracting power as well. Vanity, bad taste, and lack of understanding of your attracting power is never a good thing. Instead, positive attention and self love is what we should all strive for. I salute all men who strive to be modest. Its simply tasteful and wonderful!"

 

Thank you Sis. Akilah  for keeping it real with us on this crucial topic and allowing me to feature you on my blog! I pray Allah (God) continues to bless you in your endeavors!